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Surrender Not....

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  Surrender not.  A few weeks ago I took my grandson and his friends to the Grover farm. They were being rewarded for staying completely away from video games for an extended time. They could choose any destination and my grandson, Henry, convinced his friends that Grover was better than any other place on earth.    I was so excited to show them around and go places and see things that have been iconic with the many youth groups that I have taken there. I have explored and hiked into the backcountry alongside these anxious and energetic youth each summer for over 35 years.  But this time it was completely different. I could barely walk let alone rigorously hike up mountains and through slot canyons. Reality killed the dream as I struggled just walking around outside without a fall. As I drove home that weekend I saw and felt things differently. I hadn’t thrown in the towel but began the process of full acceptance of my new normal. In essence, I was surrendering ...
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 When first diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease I felt the need to share my journey wherever it led. It would be great therapy for me and if anyone else chose to follow along it might be of some value. But then as the weeks passed along with increasing levels of the debilitating symptoms…reality began to kill the dream.  Although initially I had the greatest intentions to write with regularity—each time I sat down to write I couldn’t. And then I began to doubt why I should even write in the first place. There are so many great resources and places to find inspiration and spiritual strength—so why should my journey be of any value to anyone.  In other words my desire to write crashed slowly back to earth as reality began to pull back the covers. Most days I just didn’t feel well enough to accomplish much at all. How could I write anything when I couldn’t feel anything?   It was during the long cold weeks of January when the harshest symptoms of the disease seemed ...
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  MARTIN/ELIZABETH CLARK 11:13 AM (10 minutes ago) to  me Blog 2   It was a pressured packed morning trying to get out the door to the airport and checked onto our flight. I had done it hundreds of times throughout my career but this time something was noticeably different.    As we waited to be ticketed I panicked thinking I that I forgotten my divers license. Some of that fear spread through my body as we approached the agent. As I handed my license to the agent..for the first time…I could see and feel my hand visibly shaking; One of the most visible symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease that had not yet surfaced.  Even though I had been previously diagnosed it was almost, as it were, an out of body experience…It shocked me. I found myself staring in disbelief at my hands in the midst of the busy bustle of the airport. “That’s not my hand! It has to be fake or it’s an illusion of another person with Parkinson’s Disease.”     Even though my other PD sy...
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