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MARTIN/ELIZABETH CLARK	2:55 PM (5 minutes ago)
to me

Ascending the/ Decline. 

• Lifted by God’s Grace.

 

My leg stamina that had only a few short months previously carried me up long, challenging mountain trails near Snow Basin ski resort and through long work days at the ranch began to inexplicably weaken. They began to feel heavier with each passing week in addition to increasingly overall body fatigue.

 

 

Was I really losing my physical and mental vibrancy or was it possible that I had concocted it all within my confused brain? Maybe it was simply a rapid onset of old age! 

 

What ever it was that was plaguing me provoked a deepening sense of frustration, concern and fear. I was most concerned with the alarmingly rapid decline of my overall strength. It had deteriorated significantly over just a few short months. 

 

In addition to the abrupt health decline the disorder began syphoning away my most cherished moments spent working at the ranch. The only thing that I knew for sure at that moment was that I felt terrible and it was getting worse. 

 

So, I turned to the twenty-first century version of “find-a-doc … create-your-own disease” with the help of countless internet searches. I became obsessed like many that I had teased earlier about the societal addiction of acquiring rapid “drive-thru” answers. 

 

I found myself emotionally checked out of life for hours upon end. (It’s not just teenagers who can be good at this) Humorously, I paused momentarily and told Liz that I had possibly contracted every single disease known to mankind. I had somehow acquired symptoms of them all. 

 

I had served nearly nine years as a Stake President in my LDS Faith with oversight of eight congregations with roughly 3,000 members. The daily engagement of serving these wonderful souls brought the most incredible joy albeit a major commitment that was accompanied by all of the pressures and weighty matters of the position. I couldn’t let these wonderful saints down yet the physically and emotionally drain of an unknown illness was robbing me of the strength I desperately needed to continue. 

 

Eventually, I hit the “wall” much like I did while running my first marathon approaching mile marker eighteen. In both situations there was simply no way my body and mind could take another step…no matter the effort, conviction or deepest desire. In both examples I was forced to wave the white flag and throw in the towel. 

 

As we sought out medical help we traveled a long and winding road that eventually led to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona. There, I received the overwhelming news that I dreaded to hear; “Mr. Clark, we fear that you have Parkinson’s Disease.”

 

Yet, at the same time after hearing that clear diagnosis we felt a significant sense of relief. Up to that moment we only knew that something was terribly wrong and that, of the potential neurological disorders…Parkinsons Disease seemed to be the best draw of the lot. In fact, during the hours leading up to the final diagnosis we were actually praying that it truly might be Parkinsons. Therefore, at last, we could begin to frame a clear, albeit sobering path ahead. 

 

Today the very foundation of my future plans have changed. We are now forced to pivot away from many of our previous, post Stake President and retirement plans. While trying to digest and make sense of our coming years I had a clear impression that I needed to transparently share my story and associated medical decline with others. In addition, I needed to share my journey that I pray will bring me closer to my Savior and encourage others to do the same. 

 

So, I will begin to write a regular blog with the intent to inspire, counsel and encourage others who suffer to trust God and seek the Grace of Jesus Christ to strengthen each in this mortal journey of life. 

 

These messages are not affiliated or sponsored by any church organization. They are just my own private effort to minister one to another. 

 

My coming journey along these Parkinson’s Disease stages is predictable, well researched and rehearsed. Each stage is based upon the progressive decline yet each person differs in the timing from one stage to the next. My symptoms align most closely with stage three of the five stages. 

 

My objective in this written blog is to share my mortal decline and chronicle the physical and mental deterioration over the remaining years allotted me. At the same time my greatest desire will be to ascend spiritually as my body declines. 

 

I recently listened with my heart wide open to our Children’s Primary Program and was deeply touched. I was, and still am, personally grappling with this devastating diagnosis. These children’s  glowing, innocent faces coupled with the inspiring music arrangements stirred my searching soul. They sang; “I Will Be What I Believe.” 

 

I again had a clear impression to not only “Be What I believe” But also share “What I Believe” with the hope that these words might touch the hearts and spirits of the few who choose to read. 

 

God has allowed me to carry this Disease knowing that the refining fire that awaits will help me draw closer to Him and maybe in some small way become a little more like Him. I have learned from previous experience that turning my life to Jesus Christ is the only sustainable means I have had to find joy in the trials I’ve faced. 

 

Our mortal personal plan…Our purpose in this life is to experience the guaranteed trials we will absolutely face and allow each of these adversities to refine, humble and help us turn to His healing. My prayer is that through these regular messages each might discover our own path to the Savior and feel of His love. 

 

Selfishly, by sharing this journey it might help in my own quest for therapeutic healing. In addition to chronicling my impressions as my body and cognitive health declines along the predictable Parkinson’s road I will reach out to other wonderful people and ask them to share how their sufferings brought them closer to their Savior.

 

Many good people suffer and have learned the path to find peace in Jesus Christ that I want to highlight. Few will have diagnosis like mine but all will share how they came to find peace His peace. I also pray that these shared experiences from ordinary people like you and me might lift our own hands that hang down or serve as a simple means of finding courage in our trials to fight onward for another day. And then another day. 

 

As these invited guests in extend their humble hearts to us I pray that we might be ready and open ours to receive. It takes great courage to express the deepest spiritual impressions of our hearts with others. Yet, I feel that by so doing we are strengthened enough to lift and bless the lives of others. This expressed vulnerability is not only admirable but remarkable. 

 

I also pray that these shared faith building experiences might serve in a small way to enlighten our awareness that we aren’t in this alone. 

 

In each of my forthcoming messages I will ask the participants the same thought provoking questions to help each of us to ponder our own sacred impressions that might elevate our connection, friendship and love for our Savior Jesus Christ. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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